Why I Don't Have Friends

I am a big gift giver in general but it’s definitely heightened during the holiday season. Now, finances prevent me from doing all the things I’d like to do (and giving all the things I’d like to give) but here’s a list of some of the *awesome things I’ve given to friends and family with pups.

*Awesome from my perspective that is. I’m sure some of the people who lived with the dogs who received some these items wonder why they are still friends with me!


These toys are relatively durable rubber squeaky toys. They come in a wide variety of styles, shapes, and colors. One thing they have in common is the awful, ear-stabbing, squeak they produce when squeezed. Now you can test a bunch and sometimes find ones with less offensive squeak but they typically have the most awful sound. A few years ago I bought my friend’s dog a JW football with the most obnoxious noise (I tested all the toys and picked the worst one!!). The following year she gave me this gem of a toy. The awful squeaky bone–it now lives outside.

Squeaker Mat

A year before the football present I bestowed upon that same friend an amazing and wonderful present. It is a gift that just keeps on giving I gave her a squeaker mat ripe with 16 amazing squeakers. Her dog loves to squeak toys and he would spend lots of time just squeaking and squeaking and squeaking. Eventually the toy was “accidentally” left at her parent’s house. Funny story was that a year later a different friend bought me 2 squeaker mats! Shayne and Rio played with the carcasses (with one or two squeakers left) of these toys until very recently (though the heads, tails, and feet were long gone).

Rubber Chicken with one heck of a squeak.

Well, after I received the JW bone, I set out on a year long search for a squeak that was worse than the bone I had received. It was a 10 month long search but I finally found the toy. It’s similar in texture to the JW brand toys but this is a rubber chicken shape of some random off-brand from a discount store. It sounds like a small animal screaming through a loud-speaker. I’m pretty excited to ship this one (though I’m always concerned the toys will squeak in transit and concern the mail carriers.

Kong Wubba

Don’t get me wrong, I love kong wubbas. They are an absolute favorite toy in this house (I bulk up on them 4 or 5 at a time from a favorite online store that has good prices) and I couldn’t imagine not having one or two available at any given time. But, they do have one heck of a squeak and to those sensitive about squeaky toys tend to dislike them. Of course I have a few other friends who live in apartments and don’t like loud toys (to disturb the neighbors) so they got wubbas as gifts.

And that is why I have no friends–actually it’s why I have friends who send me mean presents. What are some of your favorite gifts to give?

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